Liking your own comments on Facebook could be considered narcissistic.

When being efficient, try not to sound curt. It's off putting. :(

Note to Sea World: "Killer Whales" can be deadly.

Always pay extra for priority seating.

Don't worry if the glass is half full or half empty.  Just drink what's in there and order another round!

Before pouring coffee into a styrofoam cup, check and see if there is a hole on the bottom of the cup.

If at first you don't succeed, give up.  Why would you subject yourself to the embarrassment multiple times?

Choosing the right toilet paper is an important decision that should not be taken lightly.