Chewing should always be done with your mouth closed.

You are your only true defeating obstacle.

The heat in buffalo sauce concentrates as it cooks.

Even a home-done pedicure looks ok in a pair of peep-toe shoes.

"If you choose not to decide, you still have made a choice." --- Rush

It is never a good idea to bite into a pizza roll within 5 minutes of them coming out of the oven.

Your life sucks because of you.

Don't squeeze the Charmin.